Late Night Quotations: Eggs

"Instead of asking which came first, the chicken of the egg, it suddenly seemed that a chicken was an egg's idea for getting more eggs."

-Marshall McLuhan

Bush on the Constitution

"Stop throwing the Constitution in my face, it's just a goddamned piece of paper!"
-President George W. Bush

from Political Cortex

What's Left?

I am so goddamned fucking sick of the state of everything these days! Our government is a sham of illegitimate murderous authority. Our cultural output amounts to nothing more than price tags and barcodes. All means of expression have been effectively snatched up and sold back to us for a price; DRM'ed to all hell, and with restricted access. It's a sad goddamned state of affairs when you can walk around a whole city like Chicago and not find a single fucking thing to even remotely draw you in. There is no analysis, there is no intelligence, there is no thought left in this damn world. Our cultural artifacts are nick nacks. We've sold out our history, our identity. Who the fuck are we? What do we stand for? What do we enjoy? Do we support war? murder? Torture? Do we feel that Public Broadcasting should be dismantled? Do we believe that education and health care are unimportant? Do we believe we live under a representative government? Do we believe crying "bullshit" is doing something? I don't. That's why I feel I'm at the end of my fucking rope. What's left? I love reading. I love music. I love movies. I enjoy my friends, and I like riding my bike. What the hell can I do, if I can't enjoy these things? How can I enjoy these things when everything is so out of whack? I can't just drop out and chase my own personal enjoyment around while people go around murdering in the name of a nation I was born into. When greed reduces the possibility for survival on this planet every single day! When music means nothing, and self-expression is nothing more than credibility for commercials. What's left? Where are we going? Why are we going? At least nuclear war promises a quick death.

By executive order of the assumed President

No commentary. Decide for yourself if you think our government is still serving the people. I'm done.

By the authority vested in me as President by the Constitution and the laws of the United States of America, including the International Emergency Economic Powers Act, as amended (50 U.S.C. 1701 et seq.)(IEEPA), the National Emergencies Act (50 U.S.C. 1601 et seq.)(NEA), and section 301 of title 3, United States Code,

I, GEORGE W. BUSH, President of the United States of America, find that, due to the unusual and extraordinary threat to the national security and foreign policy of the United States posed by acts of violence threatening the peace and stability of Iraq and undermining efforts to promote economic reconstruction and political reform in Iraq and to provide humanitarian assistance to the Iraqi people, it is in the interests of the United States to take additional steps with respect to the national emergency declared in Executive Order 13303 of May 22, 2003, and expanded in Executive Order 13315 of August 28, 2003, and relied upon for additional steps taken in Executive Order 13350 of July 29, 2004, and Executive Order 13364 of November 29, 2004. I hereby order:

Section 1. (a) Except to the extent provided in section 203(b)(1), (3), and (4) of IEEPA (50 U.S.C. 1702(b)(1), (3), and (4)), or in regulations, orders, directives, or licenses that may be issued pursuant to this order, and notwithstanding any contract entered into or any license or permit granted prior to the date of this order, all property and interests in property of the following persons, that are in the United States, that hereafter come within the United States, or that are or hereafter come within the possession or control of United States persons, are blocked and may not be transferred, paid, exported, withdrawn, or otherwise dealt in: any person determined by the Secretary of the Treasury, in consultation with the Secretary of State and the Secretary of Defense,

(i) to have committed, or to pose a significant risk of committing, an act or acts of violence that have the purpose or effect of:

(A) threatening the peace or stability of Iraq or the Government of Iraq; or

(B) undermining efforts to promote economic reconstruction and political reform in Iraq or to provide humanitarian assistance to the Iraqi people;

(ii) to have materially assisted, sponsored, or provided financial, material, logistical, or technical support for, or goods or services in support of, such an act or acts of violence or any person whose property and interests in property are blocked pursuant to this order; or

(iii) to be owned or controlled by, or to have acted or purported to act for or on behalf of, directly or indirectly, any person whose property and interests in property are blocked pursuant to this order.

(b) The prohibitions in subsection (a) of this section include, but are not limited to, (i) the making of any contribution or provision of funds, goods, or services by, to, or for the benefit of any person whose property and interests in property are blocked pursuant to this order, and (ii) the receipt of any contribution or provision of funds, goods, or services from any such person.

Sec. 2. (a) Any transaction by a United States person or within the United States that evades or avoids, has the purpose of evading or avoiding, or attempts to violate any of the prohibitions set forth in this order is prohibited.

(b) Any conspiracy formed to violate any of the prohibitions set forth in this order is prohibited.

Sec. 3. For purposes of this order:

(a) the term "person" means an individual or entity;

(b) the term "entity" means a partnership, association, trust, joint venture, corporation, group, subgroup, or other organization; and

(c) the term "United States person" means any United States citizen, permanent resident alien, entity organized under the laws of the United States or any jurisdiction within the United States (including foreign branches), or any person in the United States.

Sec. 4. I hereby determine that the making of donations of the type specified in section 203(b)(2) of IEEPA (50 U.S.C. 1702(b)(2)) by, to, or for the benefit of, any person whose property and interests in property are blocked pursuant to this order would seriously impair my ability to deal with the national emergency declared in Executive Order 13303 and expanded in Executive Order 13315, and I hereby prohibit such donations as provided by section 1 of this order.

Sec. 5. For those persons whose property and interests in property are blocked pursuant to this order who might have a constitutional presence in the United States, I find that, because of the ability to transfer funds or other assets instantaneously, prior notice to such persons of measures to be taken pursuant to this order would render these measures ineffectual. I therefore determine that for these measures to be effective in addressing the national emergency declared in Executive Order 13303 and expanded in Executive Order 13315, there need be no prior notice of a listing or determination made pursuant to section 1(a) of this order.

Sec. 6. The Secretary of the Treasury, in consultation with the Secretary of State and the Secretary of Defense, is hereby authorized to take such actions, including the promulgation of rules and regulations, and to employ all powers granted to the President by IEEPA as may be necessary to carry out the purposes of this order. The Secretary of the Treasury may redelegate any of these functions to other officers and agencies of the United States Government, consistent with applicable law. All agencies of the United States Government are hereby directed to take all appropriate measures within their authority to carry out the provisions of this order and, where appropriate, to advise the Secretary of the Treasury in a timely manner of the measures taken.

Sec. 7. Nothing in this order is intended to affect the continued effectiveness of any rules, regulations, orders, licenses, or other forms of administrative action issued, taken, or continued in effect heretofore or hereafter under 31 C.F.R. chapter V, except as expressly terminated, modified, or suspended by or pursuant to this order.

Sec. 8. This order is not intended to, and does not, create any right, benefit, or privilege, substantive or procedural, enforceable at law or in equity by any party against the United States, its departments, agencies, instrumentalities, or entities, its officers or employees, or any other person.

GEORGE W. BUSH

THE WHITE HOUSE,

July 17, 2007.


from Whitehouse.gov

Terminal Simpsons

I'm sick of putting on a smile and playing nice for untalented idiots offering minimum wage to work on some bullshit project that they just expect people to roll over and ejaculate money all over. Whatever garbage idea they've coughed out of their dwarf minds and hired some gutless slob to piss together for them. The shit part of the deal is that they're probably half right. People will do almost anything to not have to spend their money on something worthwhile. Why not capitalize on that by selling idiots poison?

Prostitution of the body I can deal with, but I refuse to whore out my mind to these chimps. And you, stop paying for your own slow death! Read a goddamn book, or have sex or an actual conversation with a human being. Not over the phone line that fucking AT & T owns. Not over the internet which is the same. Walk outside, down your block. Throw something at someone and run away. Do any and everything genuine to keep YOUR money from going to support causes of such profound fuckery that you not only cause damage to yourself, but succeed in slowing progress by supporting their shit. I'm talking about TV. I'm talking about the Transformers Movie. I'm talking about (yes this too) the Simpsons Movie, I'm talking about the new White Stripes album, and the new Smashing Pumpkins tour. I'm saying fuck all because what has any of it ever done for you? And goddamnit stop going because "you know it's going to suck anyway." Your irony doesn't negate your 10 dollar movie tickets. If you know something blows, DON'T SEE IT! They don't fucking care where their million dollars comes from. You could write "fuck you George Lucas" on every single one of those goddamned bills, and he'd still have a million fucking dollars, and you'd still be wasting your time. So STOP! By all means STOP! ...unless of course you liked the Transformers Movie, the Star Wars prequels, you think the White Stripes are every bit as valid as Zeppelin, and the Simpsons, well you grew up with them., so...

Late Night Quotations: Commercials

"Everything's a commercial."
-Jerry Cassale

Animals

How dare we consider ourselves civilized! Just go to a monkey house at any zoo and take in the stark contrast. Kids running around screaming, climbing displays, parents yelling, babies crying, adults shouting, and slack jawed morons loudly disapproving of the "animals" relieving themselves inside a box of clear glass. The apes, by comparison, are well practiced stoics; calmly pondering the sad state that have been reduced to; meanwhile their next of kin contentedly chew on rubber footballs. They rape, and shit, and kill, and bellow, and fight too, of course, but they never made a bomb. They still haven't made Shakespeare either, but none of us read anymore, so the only advantage we have is being on the outside of the glass.